A year in a day

I always have every intention of keeping this blog up to date then before i know it months have gone by and i haven't written a thing. Then i wonder if i should just give up as i have no idea if anyone actually reads it. Its like a vicious circle I want to be a loved blogger but if i don't post then why will people check back.

I am a facebook addict and i see lots of blogs on peoples craft pages that i enjoy looking at and then the green eyed monster comes out and i want to be as clever with words and crafts as they are.

So today i will do a year in a day with the promise to myself that i will blog more often in 2012.

I decided that I couldn't take one more year without my boys having a headstone so i spepped up my crafting efforts. I also came in contact with a group on facebook call Ambers Angel World. The ladies who run it were really supportive and held an auction to help myself and another lady get the final funds needed for our children's headstones.

I organised another walk to remember and it was attended by lots more people. It was sad that these people had to come together because it meant they had lost a child or children but it was good that we could all get together a support each other. For many of these families it may have been the first time that they had heard someone else say their childs name.

My husband, son and father ran a 5k to raise funds for the items we buy for the hospital and we were able to supply Nevil Hall with a new camera/printer, moses baskets and more.

We will be trying to raise funds for a cold cot for the two local hospitals over the coming year/s.

I learnt some new craft skills this year and gave quite a few handmade gifts at Christmas, I hope the people liked them. I learnt to make jewellery, intricate hand embroidery and book binding. I will do more of it this coming year if people take an interest in it on my page.

I am meant to be on holiday from the sewing machine but as i had asked for a few accessories for Christmas i have been naughty and started some of my orders for the new year early. I put an idea in to a facebook page that was looking for a vintage style banner, i was so chuffed when they decided to commission me to do the job because it meant they liked my idea. So this week I started the job and learnt how to mitre a corner when joining a boarder with four different materials to the main panel.

Once i am able to plug the printer in when the children go back to school i can start crafting again.

The ABC's of Me.

Wow three posts in one day.

I have seen this everywhere, so I thought I would participate as well.

The ABC's of me

A - Age: 35

B - Bed size: King Size

C - Chore you hate: ALL of them, but any type of housework

D - Dog's name: Lucy but that was years ago, it was short for lucifer as she was mental.

E - Essential start of the day item: Toothbrush & toothpaste, can't eat or drink a thing till i have cleaned my teeth.

F - Favorite colour: Any shade of purple.

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5'5"

I - Instruments you play: None however i do sing in a ladies harmony group.

J - Job: F/T Mother

K - Kids: 5 boys, two who walk on earth and three who wait for me in heaven.

L - Living arrangements: In own home

M - Music you love: Take That, Michael Jackson and anything i can dance to.

N - Nicknames: Used to be called Cookie as a child, Lenny as a teen and now because of my married name and maybe because its true i get called Lippy.

O - Overnight hospital stay at hospital: Yes lots first one when i was a little baby and needed an operation at just a few days old. Last one was when i had my youngest son, i was in for almost a week.

P - Pet Peeve: Rude people, theres just no need.

Q - Quote from a movie: Two weeks!!!!!!

R - Right handed or left: right

S - Siblings: Sisters 2 , Brother 1 all older then me.

T - Time you wake up: When my 2 year old wakes.

U - Underwear: comfy pants

V - Vegetable you dislike: Parsnips Yuk!!

W - Workout Style: Loving Zumba as its not like a workout. I like to feel like i am hanging after a workout.

X - X-rays you've had: Not sure, not that i can remember.

Y - Yummy food you make: Hungarian Goulash.

Z - The best place to visit: I can see the twist...Elland Rd home of Leeds Utd.

A few crafty things

I have been making a few bits and bobs this past month and thankfully some of these have been orders so i have been paid for them. This means we are a little closer to getting the boys their headstone. I have even got the knitting needles out this past few weeks and although i have had to frog one item several times due to knitting while tired i have really enjoyed knitting again.

This is a little craft bag i made for a friend who likes cats.

This my first attempt at an angel cape for little ones who are born too soon and too small for clothes. I hope to make a few more before Easter.

This is a weighted blanket. A friend ordered it to aid the sleep of her son that has ADHD and although he's not too happy with it, it works and they are both getting some much needed sleep now. I was really pleased with this because i didn't have a pattern for this i just got to see a sample for about 10 minutes and took a few photos.

I made the this one for my niece on her 13th birthday.

This one I made for my friends daughters 10th birthday.

Finally my first attempt at making welsh cakes turned out rather well. The recipe made a few more then i was expecting though 96 in all although you can't see 96 as we all had a few as the were coming off the bake stone. Most of these were for my Father in Law's birthday.

Need motivation

I have fallen off the weight watcher wagon again so this week i had the weight gain i knew was on its way. I just can't seem to stick to it, i think maybe its been so long that i am just fed up of counting all the time. Their new system is great and if i could stick to it i know i'd be almost at my goal by now. To top it all i have found some workouts i really enjoy but my tendons at the back of my ankle doesn't agree. I have forked out on new trainers and inserts so hoping that helps. Oh how i envy people who say they can eat what they like and not have to exercise but are still a size 10 (8)or 12(10). I would kill to be a size 14(12) and stay there. I know in reality i can blame nothing but my own weak will power for this. I have lost 35lbs so far and i have 15 to 19 to go but itfeel like the other way round. I think as i write this i need to kick my self up the behind and remember what i have achieved. I could be on target but the summer if i work hard enough.

I want to share with you what exercises have finally got me wanting to get of the sofa. 1st is Zumba, i love it. Its fast, energetic and doesn't feel like a chore. I go to a class once a week and have dvd's at home to do when i can. I then discovered the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels. Its a 20 minute workout that works you hard. I haven't done it every day like you should as the rest of my life gets in the way too, but i already feel stronger and feel some changes in my body. Just need my ankle to play ball now.

Before we get to 2011

After the walk i wanted to continue doing something and though the best way would be to try and help the ward where two of my children were born. As they were under (1 by just a day) 24 weeks i didn't go to the labour ward. With the help of some of the members of CWtR (cwmbran walk to remember) we managed to get a lovely donation together. On the day of delivery the weather was awful and what is normally at 25 minute round trip became almost two hours. It was worth it though as the nurses on the ward said that their ward can sometimes be forgotten when donations are made. The main aim was a camera as their had broken a few weeks before and the staff were having to use their own.

I also wanted to do something around christmas time to remember my boys and invited anyone who wanted to join me to come and launch some paper boats with a name and message on for our little ones. The weather was against me again and it was too cold and icy to meet up with anyone, so me and my oldest son took a walk to the local canal to try and find a bit of unfrozen water to see if we could launch them. Although it was cold it was a beautiful day and the sun shone off the water and the snow glistened.

September & October

Two months I do not enjoy one after the other. They always creep up on me and slap me in the face, like I'd forget what happen, as if I could, as if any of us who has lost a child could. Its weird in a way because July and August are happy months and then the crappy ones come along.

This year Evan turned 12 on Sept 28th, and i felt as alone as the first day i met him and had to say goodbye. Then on October the 18th Adam turned 7 and just as the mist starts to lift it begins all over.

Now don't get me wrong, when i say alone i don't mean that no-one mentions my boys because i have very good friends who always send me a note or a text and my DH comes the the cemetery with me and helps me sort it all out. All this is very comforting and if i didn't have that support I'd be lost but unless you have experienced hold a baby you can never take home you can only imagine the agony. Many of my BLM's live far away so just getting together to talk about things isn't an option. After being in this club for so many years the people who think i should be "over it" by now as i have 2 healthy boys.

Then there is the matter of October the 15th National Babyloss Awareness Day, every year i have wanted to attend something or do something and every year i did nothing. So this year i decided that this year i wouldn't let it pass. At first it was a little idea borrowed from a larger event that my good friend terri organises in Canada. A walk to remember. So i created an events page on facebook and invited some of my friends. The response was more then i expected, so i told my friends they were welcome to invite people too, which they did and numbers grew again.

So then i thought why not see how many more people felt as i did and invite them, I contacted the local paper and they ran a story and more people contacted me to see if they could attend the event too.

Ideas kept running through my head about what i wanted the walk to be, all of which needed money which i didn't have. I got my cheeky head on and phoned a few local businesses and asked them to help, which they did. The banner, the candles, the balloons and the awareness ribbons were all donated.

When the day came I wondered if people would turn up as i walked over to the boating lake. My family were all there to support me and help with the setting up. Within about 10 minutes people started to turn up, everyone took a ribbon and those who hadn't contacted me before the walk added their children to the list to be read out after my small speech and poem reading.

It was quite nerve racking but i did it without crying. We then all walked round the beautiful lake and when we return we released the balloons we had all written messages on. As people left i present them a copy of the poem i read out and a little candle to remember the day.

So many people said they were glad i had organised it and that it was good to know they weren't so alone. So the plan is to try and do it all again next year.

I was grateful to all those that remembered our babies with us, including my oldest sons under 12's rugby team along with some parents and the coaches.

and that is where the rest of all the things that have happened to me started which i will fill you in on in the next part.

2011 already!!!

Wow it seemed to have crept up on me. I haven't blogged for ages but then I think i have a good reason for some of the times I didn't post. So now do i spill out my last four months all in one post and risk boring anyone that on the odd chance is actually reading this. Or break it up into sections. I think maybe the later is the bast way to go as that way i won't get bored either. So off i go to do a what i did last winter assignment for you lol....i could be sometime.