Will it really be 12 years ont he 28th. Where has the time gone that my Son would be 12 this year. I am an old hat at this now and yes i can goes weeks now without that pain. I think of all by boys daily but that feeling that my heart is turning to stone as its so heavy doesn't get me as often anymore. In someways i am so thankful for that but in other i think i hope they don't think its because i am "over" losing them...that will never happen.
Many of my friends are going through their anniversaries around about now, thats probably because we all seemed to find Share at the same time. Thank God for Share! and my "sisters"
So ihave been reading a few more blogs lately and the heavy heart is back, not just for my sorrows but when i think of all the pain my friends are going through. I wish i didn't live so far away from them or had lots of money so i could go and see them. They are my insperation and if i could achieve some of the things they have i will be a happier person.
My dad always called me a "gunna" when i was younger, as in "I'm always gunna do this and gunna do that but never quite get round to it." Well he was right really as i have so many things i want to do but they are all still in the "to do" pile. Angel RAE's is just a post on my blog as i don't have the money to buy things or the time to make them right now. I started to crochet a small blanket to hopefully get one box to the hospital for Evans 12th Angelday.
Maybe if i put my to do list on here it might spur me on to get some of them finished.
1. Contact the hospital to see if there are any other organisations helping the ward that delivers the Angels.
2.Take at least one memorial box to the hospital.
3. Order the memorial stake for the boys grave (12 years and i still can't bare to put a stone down)
4. Get my house in order so i can start some Angel Rae things going.