Another member to this crappy club

It never gets any easier, when you hear about someone else joining this crappy club I'm in. It is even worse when its someone you know, a good person. I wish so much that I could fast forward time for them to when its easier to survive. The thing is I don't know my friends wife and as a man he is guarded with how much he talks about. Theres that I am meant to be the strong one in this. I think its hard because I have done the time and I remember so many of the "I wish I'd known about this." or "I wish I'd done this." but of course those things can't be forced on you at that time. How do I help, why do i not remember what to do to make things easier. I guess the answer is that i can't make anything easier. I hope though that i gave him an insight into how he can be there for his wife.

Then its the selfish part of me that comes up where i remember how i felt when i said goodbye to my boys and some of the scars crack open a little again. Its all enforcing my need to do "something" to try and comfort others in my area.
I know a lovely woman who lives in Canada who started a great project for greiving parents. The idea is simple but very effective. A little bear called patches who travels around the country and visits those parents for a while to bring them a bit of comfort.
I'd love to do something like in the UK but not really sure if it would work as well over here. Its another thing that i will think about for some time. Maybe i should just give it a go and see if it takes off, nothing ventured and all that.

I am waiting for the phonecall to tell me that the memorial steak is ready for me to pick up. I hope it is ready before the 28th.